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Living with worry and anxiety amidst global uncertainty

3/20/2020

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Here is a great guide for these unreal times we are experiencing. Take care of your body and your mind! 
guide_to_living_with_worry_and_anxiety_amidst_global_uncertainty_en-us.pdf
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8 Actions That Get You Past Your Perfectionism

2/27/2020

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Perfectionism can cause paralysis. It creates fear and stops you from living your dreams. When you're worried about making everything perfect, nothing gets done. 

Try these tips to get past your perfectionism so you can move forward: 

1. Pay attention to your inner thoughts. Perfectionism can sneak up on you and take over your thoughts. Listen to your self-talk.
  • Try to stop negative thoughts such as, You're not good enough, or, Not like that! It must be perfect!
  • Substitute these negative thoughts with positive thoughts, like, This looks great! You did a good job. It's a fine effort.

2. Just get things done. When you're too focused on making everything perfect, it slows you down. Instead, remember to stick to a schedule and meet deadlines.
  • Make your standards realistic.
  • Focus on completing tasks on time instead of getting lost in the tiny details of each assignment.
  • Take action. Keep moving forward. Remember, you can improve, if you need to, as you go along.

3. Forgive yourself and others. Forgiveness can free you from perfectionism. Remind yourself that no one is perfect, and everyone has faults. Learn to forgive yourself and others for mistakes.
  • Try to find beauty in the imperfect.
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4. Keep in mind that second chances are usually available. Even if you can't do something perfectly the first time, you may have the opportunity to fix it later.

5. Celebrate tiny wins. Instead of focusing on what still needs to be done, focus on your wins. Each time you finish something it's a small victory. It's important to celebrate your accomplishments - even small ones.
  • Take a moment to celebrate and say thank you. Do something special for yourself.

6. Avoid being overwhelmed by a mistake. Perfectionists can get upset when things go wrong and tend to overly blame themselves. You can take responsibility for your role in the mistake without being overwhelmed by it.
  • Learn to reframe the experience. Focus on the positive aspects, such as the lessons the mistake has taught you.
  • Keep in mind that failure is a normal part of the journey to success.
  • Avoid spending days going over the mistake in your mind. Learn to move past it.

7. Find balance in your life. Perfectionism can creep into many parts of your life. It can take over your family, relationships, and career. It's important to strive for balance.
  • Try to avoid focusing on just one aspect of your life. Instead, keep things balanced by spending time with friends, family, and coworkers.
  • Avoid neglecting important things such as your hobbies, personal health, or children.
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​8. Change your mindset. Changing how you think about things can be a powerful way to combat perfectionism. The way you view the world can influence every part of your being. Learn to find the good in everything and be happy with it.
  • Do you have an all or nothing attitude that paints everything in black or white? Or can you see the gray areas?
  • The key to avoiding perfectionism is to realize that the world isn't divided into perfect parts that can always be analyzed. Instead, it's a complicated mix that has many moving parts. The same applies to your mind.
  • Focus on making progress. Even a failure is progress because it moves you closer to finding success. Find a lesson in your failures. 

You can learn to move past perfectionism. Practice these tips. Once you free your mind from perfectionism, you'll feel happier and success will come easier to you.
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7 Tips to Beat Procrastination

2/18/2020

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​Is procrastination a serious challenge in your life? Admittedly, it can be difficult to do things we don't want to do. 

Even when we know that waiting too long will create a lot of challenges, getting started can still seem impossible. Unfortunately, when procrastinating affects your job-related tasks, it can have a negative impact on your professional career as well.

So how can you kick this annoying tendency to put things off and start getting them done instead?

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​Self-Care Begins with Self Awareness

2/13/2020

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An often-overlooked aspect of self-care is developing something that caters to your specific needs, which all begins with self-awareness. You could pick up a random self-care routine, and it might help a bit, but if you want to see the best results, you need to be constructing a plan to specifically address your own issues. 

You can’t even start to plan that until you know what those problems are. By being more self-aware, you’ll be able to easily pinpoint the root of your problems and continue on to build a plan to address that.

The first and most important step is identification. This means taking an honest, hard look at your life and figuring out what it is that you’re not happy with. It could be anything. 

You might dislike your job, you might be struggling emotionally, you might be engaged in toxic relationships, and so on. Don’t be afraid to get a little bit critical with yourself during this time. 

This is a time for honesty, not comfort. Once you know what the problem is, though, it’s time to dig a little bit deeper. The next step is analysis. At this point, you know what your problems are in your life, but that’s about it. 

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LIMITING NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

1/22/2020

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​Accept failure.
If you like to beat yourself up whenever you fail, you are in for a steep road ahead. You will fail, and you will do it many times in your life. Embrace this as a gift rather than a burden. Try to view failure as more of a lesson learned. Don’t tell yourself you are a failure, tell yourself that you just learned what doesn’t work.
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Repeat daily affirmations.
You should look for affirmations that fit your current life situation. Use these as often as you can. Try repeating these affirmations every day. You should even write them out on a piece of paper and keep them close. The idea here is to program your mind for positive thinking. The more you keep at it, the more natural it will become. Ideally, those negative things you tell yourself, will eventually be taken over by your positive affirmations.
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Negative thinking is a choice.
Even though you have been bombarded with it since you were a child, thinking negatively is something you choose to do. Conversely, positive thinking is just as much a choice as negative thinking. Choose positive thinking. This isn’t an easy quick fix, it takes a lot of work and practice. …so start now!
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Strengthen your self-belief.
Negative thinking often occurs due to a lack of belief in yourself. When you strengthen your confidence, it will help you get through those times that bring you down.

TAKE ACTION! Check out these steps you can implement today. 

​Most people have dealt with some sort of negativity their entire lives. Negative experiences start during childhood and continue throughout our adult lives. This is a normal part of life that we all deal with. Too often though, our thoughts become negative as well. Even more troubling is when we start talking to ourselves in a negative manner. This negative self-talk is one of the most limiting behaviors one can deal with. Use these tips to help overcome it.

Distinguish between negative thoughts and critical thinking.
We need to have a certain amount of self-critique, otherwise we will never believe that we are doing something wrong. However, you need to recognize when that critiquing becomes negative self-talk. When you can distinguish between these, it will lead to a better situation.

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Limit your exposure to people who are negative.
These people thrive on negativity and enjoy dragging others down with them. If you cannot avoid them altogether, spend as little time with them as possible. You already struggle with negative self-talk, so you don’t need them adding more negativity. If you spend more time with positive people that build you up, your negative self-talk will naturally reduce.
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Learn to see the good in people.
If you are always thinking negatively of others, it makes sense that you will more naturally think negatively about yourself. Being more open minded towards others will help you be more accepting of your own flaws as well.​
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Follow Your Heart

10/12/2019

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If you want to be your own person then you will need to learn how to follow your heart. We all have those tugs and feelings that pull at our hearts, telling us where we want to go. Having the strength to follow them is different case altogether.

In order to follow your heart you have to learn how to let go of certain things, and start acting upon your instincts and your desires.

​My word for this year is RELEASE. 
Release the past.
Release limiting beliefs.
​Release guilt.
Release shame.
​Release caring about what other people think.
​So how do you start following your heart? First you have to learn how to trust yourself, this means learning to accept you for who you are. 
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​Take a look at your life and see what circumstances have led you to where you are today. Is this the path that you want to be on? If not it is time to change course, and only you can give yourself permission to do this.
It will not always be easy to follow your heart. You may end up upsetting or disappointing your family. May be you really don’t want the career your parents had hoped for. Or you heart’s desires may lead you to moving away from your family and friends.

​These decisions may not always be easy and it will take a good amount of soul searching in order to make them. This is when you know whether or not you are being true to yourself or not.
“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.”
― Shannon L. Alder​
​Life is not perfect for anyone, even if you are following your dreams. Life gets in the way and circumstances arise that are out of your control.
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​You have to learn how to deal with them one by one. While still staying on course.


Following your heart doesn’t mean that you have to live the life of a missionary or live in a remote cabin. Although that does sound delightful. It means just allowing yourself to be that person that deep down inside you know you are. This means not being worried about what others think. It means airing your views openly without hiding. Plus it means being happy and content with the person that you have evolved into because you are and will be forever evolving. 
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"fear kills dreams"
​- les brown
Being your own person is also never complete. It can be viewed as the journey of life and forever evolving. As you go through life your focus may shift and you change course. The life you led in your twenties and thirties may not be the one you want as you enter your fifties.

Are you currently following your heart? If not what’s holding you back?
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Live the Life You Truly Want To

10/5/2019

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Some people fear that if they start living the life they want to that they will be outcast from their friends and family. Would those friends really be friends? You can still live the life you feel that you want to be living without this happening to you. Let’s look at how you can manage this.
No one expects you to always have the exact same viewpoint as them. If they do, that is their problem. When you do find yourself in disagreement just be careful about how you show this. While expressing your views, don’t become headstrong and forceful. Instead learn to listen to both sides of the argument or discussion. There doesn’t always have to be a clear winner. Agree to disagree. 
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While you may want to dress in a carefree manner, again do this within the parameters of the law. ;) #nopublicindecency If you are visiting your parents or grandparents at their home, it may be best to respect any rules they have around attire.  
Living your own life and being your own person is wonderful. Who doesn’t want to feel carefree and have no boundaries placed upon them? This doesn’t mean that everyone around you will want to do the same and that is OK. Allow your friends to conform to the majority if that is what they wish. Don’t force actions on them if they prefer different. Maybe they will come around, maybe not. Allow them to be themselves as well. 
When your friends and family see you as authentic this means that you really are being true to yourself. You are not afraid to share your views, raise objections and stand out amongst the crowd.
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An authentic person is someone that means what they say, says what they mean and walks the talk! You know the type of person who you are, and you are extremely comfortable living in your own skin.​
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When you are living the life you want to live you share honestly with others. You are not vulnerable and yet, you know who you can be vulnerable with. You have an inner strength that is often admired by others. You genuinely know how to love, trust and respect the people in your life. Plus you can leave that pesky ego in the background if and when necessary. At the same time you seize every opportunity to learn, grow and explore everything around you. ​
The difficult thing is that vulnerability is the first thing I look for in you and the last thing I'm willing to show you. In you, it's courage and daring. In me, it's weakness.
​- Brené Brown
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Accept Yourself

9/23/2019

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​Do you accept yourself for who you are, or do you struggle to feel comfortable in your own skin? Do you find yourself often trying to be someone else?

Feeling comfortable and accepting yourself is important to your mental health, self-esteem, and leading a fulfilling life. Let’s take a look at how you can achieve these feelings.

Your first step is to ask yourself a couple of questions:
  1. Who is the person that you want to become? Describe this person in detail.
  2. What are the things that you really care about? What are you values?
  3. Is there anything or anyone who you may lose if you start to live the life you truly want?​
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NOBODY IS PERFECT
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​Write your answers out in detail. This way you have a full description of the person you want to become and why.

During this journey you also need to understand and accept that nobody is perfect. Every person has faults, and you have to learn to live with them. You are now ready to begin living your life the way you want to, and the way you deserve to.

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6 Ways Failure is Just as Important as Success

9/19/2019

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​No one likes to fail. It feels bad. You might feel like giving up or blaming someone else or beating yourself up. But you might be surprised to hear that many successful people are not just grateful for their past failures, but they ascribe their present success to having tried and failed in the past. 
​Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.
​- Henry ForD

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5 Smart, Effective Ways to Protect Yourself from Negativity

6/25/2019

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​5 Smart, Effective Ways to Protect Yourself from Negativity


​Negativity affects your life on every level. It has the power to ruin relationships, decrease work performance, and increase stress levels. The good news is that you can fight it by changing your mindset.

 
Not sure where to start?
Check out these smart, effective ways to protect yourself from negativity:
Don't Take It Personally 
 
Most people act in a certain way based on their previous experiences and current circumstances. Perhaps someone took credit for your colleague’s work in the past, so now he doesn’t trust his team anymore. That doesn’t mean he has something against you. He simply doesn't trust people in general.
 
Stop taking things personally. If someone is misjudging you, prove to them that they are wrong. Be kind and authentic rather than stressing over it.
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12 Benefits of Keeping a Journal

6/16/2019

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​Some people find journaling appealing while others think it sounds like an incredibly boring activity.

If you don’t currently write in a journal regularly, you might want to reconsider. 

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There are numerous benefits to recording your thoughts, life, and aspirations on a daily basis.

Journaling can help your memory, problem-solving ability, achievement, emotional health, and even your physical health. ​

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Key Elements for Creating Healthy Boundaries

5/16/2019

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If you truly want to be your best you, to have a happy and healthy life, you need to learn how to set boundaries.
Boundaries are being clear about what your limits are, and they are necessary to ensure you don’t get overwhelmed by the demands of other people. Without boundaries, you are likely to be overburdened, stressed, and resentful, and it’s up to you to set and maintain your limits. 
​You are the only one responsible for your happiness and wellbeing. No one else can do it for you.
If you find it hard to say no, and it’s affecting your wellbeing, you need to stop and recalibrate.

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IMPROVE THESE 5 SKILLS TO INCREASE YOUR HAPPINESS

5/14/2019

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Want to be happier? Most people do! The good news is there are some simple practices to make you happy, and they don’t cost a cent! And, you can get started as soon as you finish reading this article.

Appreciate Appreciating people for what they have done for you helps improve your level of happiness. It strengthens your relationships and draws more positive people to you. Studies have shown that people who show gratitude consistently live a healthier life. They don’t have constant ups and downs in emotions, they sleep well and have fewer health problems.
Give Sharing what you have with people who cannot afford to own such things not only makes them happy, it also makes the giver happy, abundant and fulfilled. Merely showing simple acts of kindness boosts people’s trust in and love for you. Studies show that those who show kindness felt happier than those who didn't. Having the desire to share your time and resources with others starts with acknowledging and appreciating the positive things you have in your life. When you start practicing gratitude consistently, you’ll naturally want to give more.
Empathize Lots of people fail to appreciate the fact that putting other people’s point of view into consideration keeps them happy. When people discover you understand them, they become closer and free with you because you make them feel good about themselves. Making others happy makes you happier indirectly—it’s a beautiful cycle that keeps on going around. Empathy helps you turn negative characters or features in a person into positive ones by helping them see new ways of approaching them in their everyday life.
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Aspire Are you hopeful? Believing that the best is yet to come brings you joy that no material thing can. Hope regularly relieves the mind of stress, and a mind that’s free from stress makes you happy. Being hopeful creates a vision for the future in which you know that you are living for a purpose, which brings you a wellspring of ongoing joy. When you aspire to great things, you help others do the same.
Savor Savoring the positive is the best way to free the mind from stress. When you continually place your mind on the good things you have achieved, it increases your happiness levels. This boost makes you more hopeful for greater things to come and also inspires you to do more. Savoring the present moment and all that we have in our lives helps us be the happiest and healthiest us we can be.
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​Common Mindfulness Questions Answered

1/23/2019

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Mindfulness has been a hot topic for a bit and for a good reason. Mindfulness has been shown to have a range of benefits and can improve your physical, mental, and emotional health. Whether you want to practice mindfulness to help you deal better with stress and anxiety, or to help you live a more positive life, you’re likely to have lots of questions.

Here are some answers to the most common questions people have about mindfulness:
1. How do I do it?
2. How do I breathe properly?
3. How do I stop my mind wandering?
4. How do I find the time for mindfulness?
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Getting Clear on Your Business and Life Goals

1/10/2019

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How Vision Boards Work
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A vision board is a planning tool that allows you to unleash your creativity and daydream in a tangible format. By collecting images, words, and phrases that represent your biggest goals and keeping them within sight, you’ll be better able to focus on the next steps to take to reach them.
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Not only that, but vision boards can serve to keep you inspired when boredom strikes (as it inevitably will), and remind you of why you’re working so hard when all you want to do is take a nap or numb with social media.

If there’s one thing that keeps people stuck, it’s a lack of clarity.
You want to take a beach vacation, but you aren’t sure where to go—or how to make it happen.
You want to grow your business, but aren’t even sure what that means.
The truth is, with ambiguous “goals” such as these, in five or ten years, you’ll still be stuck right where you’re at today.
But with a little clarity, you can achieve any goal you can conceive—and even some you cannot yet dream of. And the first step is to simply visualize what you want.
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​Seek Your Own Goals for Greater Fulfillment

1/9/2019

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Leave Comparison Behind: Seek Your Own Goals for Greater Fulfillment
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Succeeding in life can seem like an uphill battle. You're probably striving for the same things as everyone else.
Especially now with social media, there seems to be a certain standard as to what’s an acceptable measure of success. But think about it.

​Don’t you think it's time to take a step back from comparison, ignore what the world is saying, and pursue goals based on what’s important to you – not someone else?

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
​— Theodore Roosevelt
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Improve These 5 Skills to Increase Your Happiness

1/5/2019

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Improve These
5 Skills to Increase Your Happiness

Want to be happier? Most people do! The good news is that there are some simple practices you can do right now as soon as you finish reading this article.


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How to Set SMART Goals for the New Year

1/2/2019

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​​HAPPY NEW YEAR!! 
I KNOW that 2019 is going to be your BEST year yet! 
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One of the best ways to guarantee goal-setting success is to ensure that each of your goals or New Year's resolutions fits the SMART formula. SMART is an acronym that stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely. When your goals have these characteristics, you are much likelier to achieve them.

Goal Setting Success
Setting short term, medium term, and long term goals for yourself is a key to success in your life. If there are things that you want to achieve or ways that you want to grow, setting goals as stepping stones is an important part of getting there.

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    Liz Fuhro, MA, PLPC

    Psychotherapist 

    @LFCounselingLLC

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Liz Fuhro, LPC,LPCC
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